After an enjoyable afternoon spent on the beach it was decided that a barbecue was just the ticket. "Lets have it on the beach" suggested sister in law who had just shelled £2-99 on some charcoal. Excellent idea, so I proceeded to build up the fire under a small foldaway frame. "Look, you need to build the fire higher as the tray won't get hot, stupid!" Not a problem, "I'll put in some of these big pebbles in shall I? " Nod Nod. "Dad said that sometimes beach pebbles can explode." I think, "Yea, Yea what does the old fossil know, he's always erring on the side of over cautious!"
I then light the flammable bags and hey presto we have lift off. Hmmm I can imagine just how fantastic this is going to be once the coals are hot enough. "Bring the grub down will yah!"
It started off with a few little crackles, then the occasional pop. "Stand back kids this is looking decidedly on the dodgey side of things". Knowing full well that this could be a massive disaster pride gets the better of me and I fire on the burgers whilst dodging the pops with perhaps little bangs and charcoal flying everywhere. "No kids I really mean it, stand well back this is really getting dangerous!" BANG or even a massive KAPOW and most the burgers have hit the deck. Passers by look terrified and take a wide berth of the master chefs barbie. "Yea, Yea I can read your mind","I know I'm not the sharpest tool in box", "and SHIT my foot is rather warm, in fact very warm, it's on FIRE!" I jump up and down and rub my foot in the sand. My shoe is ruined and if it wasn't for the quick thinking ladies in the family so would have the barbecue, but they used the stove in the shack to finish cooking everything.
As for the punishment, I was summoned to climb a massive mountain to go to Co-op to get a chilled bottle of wine. On my return, "do you know I had to climb this seriously steep hill to get your grog. Response, "You idiot you went the wrong way!". There are just some days when you know its not your day and that was certainly one of them.
The kids have been telling Grandad that story with absolute wreckless abandon, and I thought I'd give my account of the story.
My Burnt Shoe!
